The sound of the elevator doors opening resonated through the vacant corridors of the 18th floor. Nathan felt relieved that his feet were heading home at last. He checked his watch. 11:12pm, it seemed to scream. He knew very well that he was underpaid and that tomorrow, he’d most likely leave at this same hour. For the nth time, he reminded himself that he was lucky enough to get a job so quickly given that he just got out of college.
“Everything takes time. Baby steps, Nathan. Baby steps. Gain experience,” he whispered to himself.
He almost dragged his legs inside. He saw his reflection on the elevator mirrors showcasing his different angles. Immediately, he thanked his lucky stars that the elevator was vacant. Not just so he could lazily lean on the walls, but because no one would be a witness to this stressful face he was sporting. He pressed the G button and it immediately lit up. A bit frustrated and mostly tired, he stared at the sign which said Level 18 as the doors gently closed.
17.
16.
15.
He felt the elevator stop.
For a quick moment, while leaning on the side of the elevator with his bag sprawled on the floor, he wondered who else could still be in at an hour like this, and then thought of the number of employees that could be like him—on the verge of martyrdom. Not too many, he suspected. The doors slid open on the 14th floor. An impeccably dressed guy stood before him. For what seemed like a long time, they exchanged surprised stares at each other, clearly the other guy also didn’t expect to see anybody. He reached for the G button, but seeing that it was already lit, placed his hands in his pocket. He leaned on the opposite side of Nathan, as if trying to imitate him. Both of them were politely smiling as the elevator doors closed once again.
12B.
12.
Killing the silence, the guy asked him with a genuine expression of curiosity, “Over time?”
11.
“Without pay,” Nathan answered nodding. He tried to smile, although he was sure it came out as a smirk.
10.
“How about you?” Nathan asked. He found this stranger rather interesting, as if there was an air of mystery about him.
9.
“Well, actually,” the guy wasn’t able to finish his sentence because suddenly, the elevator lights went out and the elevator came to a full stop. After 3 seconds, the emergency lights blazed brightly.
It was unusual that unannounced blackouts occurred in this part of the city, but it was more unusual—rather rare, that generators weren’t ready for events like this. Nathan began to feel a developing hate towards the building.
“Just my luck!” Nathan said sarcastically.
“I’ll try calling security in the lobby,” the guy said calmly as he fidgeted with his phone.
Nathan gave a loud grunt after feeling his pockets. He must have left his phone on the desk, charging. What else could go wrong? He thought.
“Don’t worry about it, there’s no service here anyway.”
“What?” Nathan asked, worried and annoyed.
“I’m sure someone’s working on getting the electricity back. Maybe in a few minutes…”
“Why are you so calm?” Nathan asked, failing to hide his irritation.
“Well, because at least I know I have someone to talk to while I wait. I’m Andrew, by the way. How are you, Jonathan?” Andrew held out his hand.
“How did you know my name?” Nathan raised his eyebrows.
Andrew pointed on the ID on Nathan’s chest.
“Right,” Nathan replied, trying to hide a smile of embarrassment.
“As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by this blackout, I just came back here because I forgot my apartment keys, I thought I lost it and was at a friend’s house when I figured I should check my office drawers,” Andrew pulled out from his pocket a bunch of keys.
They had been on the elevator for 27 minutes when the emergency lights started to weaken, but they hardly noticed it. For 27 minutes, they’ve been talking non-stop. They discussed work. They talked about college, music, short-term goals and long-term plans. They talked about pets, they talked about the weather, books and food. They talked about anything that comes into their heads. At first it, Nathan hesitated to open up, but Andrew was a good listener. He looked at him intently when he asks something and he doesn’t cut. He gives advice, but isn’t too preachy. He shares but not blabbers. It felt natural, talking to him. Nathan never felt this good talking to someone, not even to his closest friends. He silently wished that this was the first of many conversations with Andrew.
The emergency lights started to flicker until it went out. The sound of the elevator humming came back. Wind started to blow again from the ceiling and they slowly stood up, fixing their clothes.
“I didn’t even notice the time,” Nathan exclaimed after checking his watch.
“I did, but I didn’t really care,” Andrew replied. Smiling like he has for the past half hour.
8.
“How are you going home?” Nathan asked.
7.
“The train. How about you?”
“I usually ride the bus, but I can ride the train with you, if you like,” Nathan felt his face break into a smile. On any normal day, he wouldn’t have said that out loud, but this day… well, this day was pleasantly strange. He liked him.
6.
“That would be perfect,” Andrew clenched his fist as if he just made a homerun.
5.
4.
“I’m glad I got stuck with you,” Nathan said, almost whispering.
3.
“I’m glad I went here to find more than just my apartment keys,” Andrew uttered staring at Nathan’s face.
2.
G.
The elevator doors slowly opened to reveal a deserted lobby.
“Hey, my phone’s still on my desk! I should get it first, right?” The thought struck Nathan as sudden as an unannounced blackout.
“Yeah, sure. Let’s go!” Andrew exclaimed with a tinge of excitement.
“Should we take the stairs?” Nathan asked innocently.
“No. Of course, not. I like being in elevators.” Andrew replied.
“Me, too.” Nathan failed to suppress a hearty laugh as he pressed the button that said 18.
The elevator ascended carrying with it two boys, both with a newfound understanding that blackouts and elevators don’t always make a bad combination.
Posts tagged fiction
Alaala’t gunita.
Ginising ako ni Bathala gamit ang init at nakakasilaw na liwanag ni haring araw.
Dahan-dahan kong imunulat ang aking mga mata, umaasang baka sakaling nasa tabi pa kita.
Sana nga panaginip lang ang lahat.
Babangon akong may guhit ng ngiti sa aking mga labi dahil sa iyong napakahimbing na pagkakahimlay sa kamang pinuno mo ng mala-bahagharing kulay.
Subalit ang aking mga ngiti’y napawi, pilit hinahaplos ang mga mala-sultang bakas na iyong mainit na katawan na iniwan sa ating mumunting paraiso. Isang paraisong parisukat, na gawa sa tela, kutson, at pag-ibig.
Wala ka na.
Hindi ko ninanais gumising pa.
Mahirap.
Hindi ko kaya.
You were the drug, I was the addict. And you know how addicts act when out of drugs? We’re needy, selfish, inconsistent, possessive, oftentimes incomprehensible. The more you pull away, the more I pursue. The less you do, the less I care. You could have been my therapist instead if you have just given it the time of the day, we could have made arrangements for my rehabilitation but in a snap, you cut me out of my addiction. That made me crazier than ever, and to be honest I was never good with quitting bad habits.
But now I’m out of money and out of love, and there’s no point making my point with you. Time is the best rehabilitation program, you have no choice but go with the flow unless you want to drown yourself in your own misery.
And to be honest, I want to save myself. So I quit the bad habit and create another less self-destructing. Like quitting jobs and painting walls. Anything less self destructive than keeping you in my thoughts.
TT.
5:40 PM.
Oh God! I need to bear an hour and 40 minutes of inconsequential lecture on theories and techniques with Adobe Photoshop that we barely use, plus I need to endure more than one and a half hours of monotonous valium-like tone of Montillano.
My Tuesdays are always fucking GREAT.
The only good thing happening every Tuesday is my TT Sessions with Migo. (Tea Time Sessions, you pervs!) It’s our way of debriefing from stress, to talk, to relax, and to laugh.
I cannot wait for the clock to strikes at 7. I packed and fixed my things 15 minutes ago to ensure I will be leaving on time.
I am eager to see Migo, I guess, after all, he is my catharsis.
“Hey man! Wattup?” I greeted him with a slap on his back.
Like the typical Migo who’s either busy contemplating on his term paper, creating a design, editing photos, or even writing, he would just nod and raise his right hand.
That’s cool, I am not in hurry, so I visited the counter to order my Fruity Yoghurt and his favorite – Wintermelon Milk Tea with Pudding.
“Thank you! I am impressed, you know my drink, just give me few more minutes and I am almost done.”
I browse some of his works while he packs his things.
“Ready?” He asked.
“For what?” I asked bluntly.
“In my room. Upstairs where we can talk privately without this group of stupid looking gay guys who kept on staring at us”
I didn’t want to argue, without any questions, I just followed.
Right after he closed the door, he hugged me.
“Happy first month, Jigs.” He kissed me softly on the lips.
My face turned just like a tomato, I didn’t know what to say. This is our first month, and this is the first time we entered in this kind of relationship.
He gave me a box full of our Polaroid memories since our “Bestfriend” days. Then a photo caught my eye, a picture of us wearing our same shoes with a note.
“I may not know how to dance this kind of love song, but one thing’s for sure, so long as I am with you, we’ll learn it together.”
I just smiled, kissed him on the lips.
“To our first month!”
Bi-polar.
Kakaibang init ang naramdaman kong dumaloy sa aking katawan nang nasilayan kong naka-hubad ng pang-itaas si Brando at pawisan.
“Hindi pwede ito! Lalaki ako. Mahal ko ang asawa’t mga anak ko”
“Hay nako ghurl, wit ka na mag maganda, palay na nga ang lumalapit sa manok, aarte pa! Bet ka din niyan ni Brando, and for sure, wala namang makakita sa inyo. Go for the gold Ramon! Isipin mo na lang ang feeling ng malaki niyang alaga na kumi-kiwal kiwal sa lalamunan moh! Bonggels diba!
“Tumigil ka nga sa kalandian mo Mona! Matagal ko ng iniwan ang mga gawaing yan! Nagbago na ako, at ayoko ng balikan ang madilim na parte ng aking nakaraan. Ayokong magkasala.”
“Hoy pokpok! Ang drama mo! Best Actress awardee sa Gawad Urian? Tigil tigilan mo nga ako! If I know, basang basa na ang kipay mo, dahil abs pa lang ulam na! At ang nota, eat all you can! Kaloka ka!”
“Mona, please. Ayoko. Pigilan mo ako.”
“Ah ganon? Ayaw mo nga ano? Kasi hanggang ngayon nakatitig ka pa din sa mala-Macheteng niyang katawan. At naka nganga ka pa talaga. Anong iniintay mo? Malaking burat mula sa langit? At teh! Yung pinky finger mo, paki tiklop, obvious na obvious ka!”
“Ambisyosa tong Robocop na to! Pa-mhinta! Ayaw pa kasi lumabas sa Narnia, Ghurl amoy naptalina kana, try mo! And besides, ikaw na lang ata ang hindi nakakaalam na bakla ka!”
“Putang ina Mona sinabi kong tumigil kana!”
“Okay fine! Vina Morales ikaw ba yan? Siyempre, dinaan na naman sa dahas, galit-galitan school of acting. Akala mo ba mabrobrokot akez? Wit! Cynthia Luster kaba sa buhay ko? Ikaw na nga tong tinutulungan, ikaw pa ang galit! Dadating din ang araw magsisisi ka at mag may I thank you ka sa beauty ko!”
“Wala akong pakialam! Lumayas ka sa isipan ko!”
“Fine! Pag ikaw lumandi at kailangan mo ng aking advise bahala ka! Mag enjoy ka sa Narnia! Magsama kayo ng asawa mo! TOMBOY! BABOO! CHURA MO GHURL!
Commuter Chronicles.
Nangingilid ang mga luha habang patuloy na pinagmamasdan ang liwanag na nanggagaling sa EDSA. Halos mag alas-dos na ng madaling araw, binabagtas ko ang panganib at hindi ko alam kung saan ako tutungo.
Buntong hininga.
Tangan-tangan ko ang aking bag, at coin purse na may lamang 67 pesos at 75 cents. Hindi ko alam kung aabot ba to, hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko.
Patuloy ang pagtitig sa bintana ng bus, umaasang magbibigay ito ng sagot. Hawak ang cellphone sa kaliwang kamay.
Balisa.
‘Nalaman na ni dad ang relasyon natin. Gusto niyang makipaghiwalay ako sayo pero hindi ako pumayag. Mas pinili kong iwan sila, at mas pinili kitang makasama.’
Pilit pinagmamasdan ang screen na parang nag-iipon ng lakas ng loob, gusto kong i-send sa’yo pero hindi ko magawa. Ayaw na kitang idamay sa problema ng pamilya ko.
…
…
…
‘Message Sent’
…
…
…
Wala pang limang minute, nag-ring kaagad ang cellphone ko, Jan – Calling. Hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko, hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko.
Bumuhos ang luha ko ng marinig ko ang boses mo. Parang nawala lahat ng bigat at pasakit na dinadala ko.
‘Bumaba ka sa may Buendia, sa kanto kita susunduin, pagkababa mo, nandoon na ako. Mag ingat ka, I love you.’
Hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti. Malamang pinagtitinginan na ako ng mga taong kasabay ko sa bus.
Malayo pa lang, naaninag na kita. Shorts, shirt, at flipflops. Mahigpit na yakap ang sinalubong mo sa akin.
‘Simula ngayon, bubuo na tayo ng ating mga pangarap. Ikaw. Ako. Tayo. Mahal na mahal kita Vince’
cool-off.
‘Ayoko na. Pagod na pagod na ako. Mag pahinga muna tayo. Kailangan kong mag-isip, I need space.’
Ito ang last message na sinend sakin ni Jerty. Mahigit isang linggo na din ng huli kaming nagka-usap, ang masama pa dito, sa text pa. Hinayaan ko na lang, binigyan ko ng oras para makapag-isip, minsan kasi, nakakasawa talaga ang pag-aaway, lalo na kung mga simpleng bagay lang yung pinagmumulan. Gusto ko din mag-isip kung masaya pa ba ako sa relasyong ‘to.
Binasa ko ulit yung message, gustong-gusto ko ng mag reply. Nais ko na siyang maka-usap at puntahan. Sana maayos pa namin ‘to, ayokong itapon ang mahigit isa’t kalahating taon naming pagsasama. Hinding-hindi ako susuko, hindi ko hahayaang mawala yung taong pinakamamahal ko, yung taong nagbibigay sa akin ng dahilan para mabuhay at para tumawa.
Nakatingin lang ako sa kawalan. Mahigit isang oras na ata akong nasa loob ng aking sasakyan, nakahinto, hindi alam ang paroroonan.
Nilibot ko ang Maynila, dumaan ng EDSA, umikot sa Taft, binagtas ang Roxas, tumabay sa Tagaytay, at nagpalipas ng oras sa Paseo De Sta. Rosa. Nagmuni-muni, nag-isip.
Saan na nga ba pupulutin ang relasyong ito?
Para akong nasa pelikula ni Cathy Garcia-Molina okaya kay Bb. Joyce Bernal, on queue ang pagbuhos ng ulan kasabay ang pagtutog ng ‘Di Lang Ikaw’ ni Juris. Naknampucha lang. Nakakabwisit talaga. Akalain mong pati tadhana pinaglalaruan ako.
Doon ko narealize ang lahat, para akong mamatay at nag flashback ang mga memories namin ni Jerty. Yung una naming date, yung videos, pictures, food trips, yung pareho naming mga damit, yung mga simpleng pagtatalo, yung pangingiliti niya, yung tawa niya, mga kanta ko para sa kanya, bawat halik, bawat yakap, lahat ng bagay na binigay niya.
Napangiti na lang ako habang tumutulo ang luha sa aking pisngi. Mahal ko pa nga si Jerty. Hindi ko kayang mawala siya.
Naisipan kong umuwi at kunin ang lahat ng bagay na makapagpapaalala kay Jerty ng aming pagmamahalan. Medyo baduy pero gagawin ko, kasi mahal ko yung tao.
Alas otcho, aabot pa ako, pwedeng pwede pa kong dumaan ng bahay, kunin yung mga gamit at pumunta sa kanila. Dali-dali akong pumasok sa kwarto para kunin yung mga ‘memories’ namin at nagulat na lang ako sa aking nakita.
Isang lalaking naka-upo sa gilid ng aking kama, kahit madilim, kilala ko kung sino ito.
‘Jerty?’
Bigla niya akong niyakap. Ramdam ko ang kanyang bawat pagtangis kasabay ng matinding paghawak.
‘I am sorry Kevin. I love you’
Ngumiti lang ako. Tinitigan sa mata. Hinagkan.
‘I love you too. Mahal na mahal kita’
Alaala’t gunita.
Ginising ako ni Bathala gamit ang init at nakakasilaw na liwanag ni haring araw.
Dahan-dahan kong imunulat ang aking mga mata, umaasang baka sakaling nasa tabi pa kita.
Sana nga panaginip lang ang lahat.
Babangon akong may guhit ng ngiti sa aking mga labi dahil sa iyong napakahimbing na pagkakahimlay sa kamang pinuno mo ng mala-bahagharing kulay.
Subalit ang aking mga ngiti’y napawi, pilit hinahaplos ang mga mala-sultang bakas na iyong mainit na katawan na iniwan sa ating mumunting paraiso. Isang paraisong parisukat, na gawa sa tela, kutson, at pag-ibig.
Wala ka na.
Hindi ko ninanais gumising pa.
Mahirap.
Hindi ko kaya.
waiting, finding, losing, smiling.
